that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
