She said her name was "party"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home