Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.