You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We need a shit load of segways right now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".