wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
