I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
