Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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