people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
