i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize