I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize