Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
