i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
