You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Found your dick twin last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
