Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize