Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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