i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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