So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
