I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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