butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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