Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
