I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
