You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my being single is dangerous.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
