Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
