If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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