OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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