guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
