I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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