Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
