Buhtt sex?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
