He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
