You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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