Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize