Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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