i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
