You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
