You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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