OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize