also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My life is pants optional.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize