You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
