the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
