so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
