Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
accomplished twins. life is a go
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
