i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize