if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
