a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
