i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend