Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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