I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
