i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
