That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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