My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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