at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
