i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
