So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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