dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
