Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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